I have a problem. A problem which can afflict any man. It is a predicament not many are prepared to discuss publicly.
It is debilitating, drains you of your confidence and motivation.
Those afflicted are often forced to suffer in silence. Society offers no understanding, no support, no respect.
I sit here unsure of what to do, how to proceed.
My problem is not sexual, although it does involve sex. It is a gender issue.
I recently read an article by Tom Meagher, the husband of Jill Meagher whose gruesome murder became one of the most prominent and emotional stories in news history.
The article was well written, brave and offered a surprisingly selfless perspective given the horrific events he endured. He looked beyond his own experiences, using them only to frame his position. His aim was to address the scourge of domestic violence which remains prevalent in our society.
As I read his piece I felt helpless, ashamed. Ashamed to live in such a society; one which condones sexism and actively endorses gender based hatred.
My feelings came not from the message he delivered, but from the culture beneath it which allows the situation to exist.
And by ‘the situation’ I don’t refer to the world Meagher discussed, it was a fabrication or at least a naive oversimplification, I mean the culture which willingly accepts and promotes his narrative.
His intentions are good, and I am sure he believes his position, but it has very little basis in fact.
Furthermore, his tactics are an impediment to a cause we all share. They are demeaning and disempowering to men and women, alike. He begins with a faulty assumption, ignores the majority of the problem and its causes, and flatly rejects concrete contributing factors. Worst of all his tactics lack an end game, as the stated goal is already the prevailing wisdom.
The piece stands alone as a pointless and divisive insult but its failings remain unnoticed by those conditioned to the culture, like various sects defending their own genital mutilation.
I was so disturbed that I was moved to take up a chair and construct a rebuttal. A couple of weeks, a great deal of reading and research papers, and thousands of words later, I have amassed the facts and arguments to dismantle his entire piece in fine detail. Yet, I cannot publish it.
This is partly because I am not satisfied with it. I doubt I ever will be. There is no way to say what needs to be said which will not be greeted with disdain. Clicking the ‘publish’ button would be easy enough, but there is no audience. My response would be instantly dismissed, as would its author.
I don’t expect to have any great say in the trajectory of civilisation. I am but one voice in over 7 billion. However, I do expect facts and truth to carry some weight, power and influence. Sadly, they do not.
It is an unfortunate truth about the current paradigm, and let’s call it what it is: feminism.
It is a culture impervious to reality. You cannot reason with it. Any dissent has you labelled a bigot, even if your only crime is to produce the cold hard facts which disprove the faulty assertions of your opponent.
I once had an exchange with a feminist which encapsulated the latest wave of the movement.
In the midsts of a disagreement, I calmly explained to her (in the least condescending words I could muster given her juvenile position) that her opinion did not outweigh observable reality and that it simply didn’t matter how she felt about it; the universe doesn’t care. Her opinions didn’t qualify as facts no matter how vehemently she voiced them, and those opinions certainly didn’t supersede established facts. Facts are what they are, and they must be demonstrable to wear the title. Science, reason and logic work, and they are our only tools to decipher what is real, what is true and how best to proceed. Her current emotion or train of thought does not take precedence.
Her response was, well… revealing. She claimed that my insistence on truth and building a coherent argument where the premises were connected to the conclusions was yet another example of the male bias of our patriarchal society, ‘That’s the male point of view! I don’t have to play by those sexist rules, we are all entitled to our opinion’. She pranced off, proud of her victory. I didn’t sleep that night.
I didn’t sleep because I realised she was right. Not factually, it’s an appalling distortion, but socially her position is fully accepted.
To be fair to feminism and feminists, they aren’t the only offenders. This non-thought is a cornerstone of the modern wave, and feminism is my current opponent, but the phenomenon can be observed in many aspects of life; politics, religion, special interest causes, a whole raft of anti-scientific campaigns (climate deniers, evolution deniers, anti-vaccination advocates), and general pseudo-scientific mumbo jumbo.
Unfortunately, this is the dominant voice within our community. One of wilful ignorance, where emotion, ideology, belief and preconceived notions trump all known facts and rational thought. We, as a society, are in intellectual regress.
‘I find these facts devastating to my case, I wont allow them. Bigot!’
At least she was honest. Most aren’t. They internally adopt precisely the same position, yet avoid direct and open confirmation, like a weaselly politician.
I can’t click ‘publish’. At least, not yet. Perhaps a complete rewrite distilling the evidence to pure numbers, and concise focused arguments, would make it more palatable. Perhaps an array of articles addressing each of the many errors in turn. I don’t know.
In the meantime, I’m throwing out this plea to gauge if there is anyone who might be receptive to a reality which contradicts the well established, but incorrect and destructive, narrative we are all taught to accept.
Take a look at the article and see if you can identify the problems. I suspect you wont. Despite its many failings, the piece has received near universal acclaim from readers. We empathise with the author and support the underlying cause, and react accordingly. Unfortunately, the truth and solutions do not lie on this path and following it will be to the detriment of society and ensure there will be many more unnecessary victims.
The Danger of the Monster Myth by Tom Meagher